“The effects of unresolved trauma can be devastating. It can affect our habits and outlook on life, leading to addictions and poor decision-making. It can take a toll on our family life and interpersonal relationships. It can trigger real physical pain, symptoms, and disease. And it can lead to a range of self-destructive behaviors.” – Peter A. Levine
How are trauma and trust connected? Trauma can have a lasting impact on trust. Post-traumatic events seem to make trust feel risky.
Trust, the foundation of any healthy relationship, allows people to feel safe, understood, and emotionally connected (1). When trusting, you have made yourself vulnerable to someone or something. You have invested part of who you are into a relationship. This commitment increases one’s vulnerability.
“Trauma is any disturbing experience that results in significant fear, helplessness, dissociation, confusion, or other disruptive feelings intense enough to have a long-lasting negative effect on a person’s attitudes, behaviour, and other aspects of functioning.” (2) Trauma can destroy trust either temporarily or permanently depending on the severity of the trauma and the resilience of the victim.
Fear
Trauma triggers fear. The traumatised person feels at risk of being retraumatised. This may involve multiple permutations of fear. There may be a fear of being reinjured, or being betrayed, or being neglected, or being deceived, or being rejected.
All of these fears may lead to being hypervigilant, which keeps the abused person on high alert for anything that might be even remotely related to their trauma. Triggers to being retraumatised may lead to panic attacks and feelings of extreme vulnerability.
“Trust dies but mistrust blossoms.” – Sophocles
Mistrust
Having all this fear promotes feelings of mistrust. The person may need to be reassured that they are safe and not at risk. Relaxation may be more difficult to experience after trauma. The heightened feelings of danger may even shut down the person temporarily. The openness before trauma is now gone. Getting close to anyone may also be affected. The lack of feelings of safety may cause traumatised individuals to avoid or withdraw from relationships abruptly.
Trauma may also make it hard to forgive those people who have hurt you. Your past pain makes forgiveness more difficult due to your lack of trust.
Trusting Again
Trusting after trauma is a challenge. Taking up the challenge will require a recognition of the situations or behaviours that trigger you into feeling unsafe.
Taking note of your triggers will begin the process of managing your reactions better in the future. To establish healthier relationships, talk more openly about your feelings, especially your fears.
Try to avoid, dispute or reframe any of your negative thoughts. These thoughts can trigger you into your fears. Take small steps to build back your trust. Start with low-risk situations to build your confidence. Avoid self-blame and support yourself more often.
Be aware that self-compassion is healing your trauma. When you feel you are ready to share your experiences of trauma seek professional help. Therapy provides a safe environment with acceptance and non-judgement (1).
Trauma Bonding
Trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. The abused person typically develops sympathy for the abuser due to affection and maltreatment overlapping. The abused person then forms an attachment with their abuser and is reinforced to stay within the relationship (3).
Trauma bonding can also occur with situations. A person may be attracted to abusive work situations or abusive social situations. These situational abuses are also a mix of affection mixed with maltreatment. Eventually, the person attracted to the trauma bonding has to become aware of this pattern of abuse and avoid the attraction to more abuse.
Symptoms of trauma bonding include an emotional dependency on the abuser, which will only grow stronger over time. The abused person may even justify or minimize the abuse due to the strong bond with the abuser. There will be fears of isolation or abandonment that maintain the status quo. Eventually, the abused may even become self-blaming for the abuse (3). These symptoms point to not just a loss of trust but also a loss of self-trust.
“We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.”- ― Jane Austen
Self-Trust
How important is self-trust? How will you make decisions if you are lacking self-trust? You would be indecisive and probably procrastinate more often. Each time this occurs you would also be reinforcing the belief that you cannot trust yourself.
Not being able to trust yourself can lead to many of the mental health issues that you do not want. It may fuel anxiety because you are unsure of more situations due to your lack of confidence in yourself.
Lack of self-trust may lead to depression due to your increased isolation because you are not trusting yourself in the world. Intrusive thoughts may also become more prominent because your lack of self-trust increases your fears.
Elevating your self-trust will boost your confidence and your resilience. You will be less likely to fall into negative thoughts and feelings.
Like all personal characteristics, your self-trust needs to be accurate. As your confidence and self-trust grows, the accuracy of those feelings must be tested to avoid falling back into trauma. Date rape and home invasion are just two examples of a pre-emptive confidence in safety that may be an inaccurate judgement in your confidence.
The Iceberg
The iceberg is a good metaphor for trauma, which suggests 80% of the iceberg below the surface is our subconscious mind and 20% above the surface is our conscious mind. This realization demonstrates the challenge that trauma presents. Our subconscious has substantial power to trigger our subconscious past trauma. To minimize that power, our conscious awareness of our current reality must be in charge. The traumatised person needs to dispute the past triggers and remain in the present repeatedly over time. Progress will begin through recognition of the power of the subconscious but not giving into it!
References
1-Positive Reset Eatontown, NJ Mental Health Clinic (2025). The connection between trauma and trust issues in relationships. Feb 10, 2025
2-American Psychological Association (2025). Trauma.
3- Sheehan, A. (2025). What is a trauma bond? Here’s how to recognise if you’re in one. ABC Lifestyle, June 8.
Dr Bruce Wilson is a psychologist with over 30 years of experience. He enjoys sharing his ramblings with friends and colleagues. He is currently in private practice at Mind Health Care in Geelong, Someone Health in Sydney, and Hoppers Psychology in Hoppers Crossing. This article is solely his work.
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